Rodrigo Hänggi

October 31, 2016

Putting myself out there

I need to write more. And by that I mean I need to write more for this blog. You might not believe me, but I write a lot every day. “shitloads” might be the more fitting term. Three handwritten pages amounting to almost 1’110 words in average. And I do this every single day.

From Julia Cameron

Morning Pages are three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. There is no wrong way to do Morning Pages– they are not high art. They are not even “writing.” They are about anything and everything that crosses your mind– and they are for your eyes only. Morning Pages provoke, clarify, comfort, cajole, prioritize and synchronize the day at hand. Do not over-think Morning Pages: just put three pages of anything on the page…and then do three more pages tomorrow.

I’ve been writing these morning pages for almost two years now. And they are a great tool to shut up your “Monkey mind”.

By “Monkey mind” I refer to the part of your brain that constantly bombards you with distracting and unprocessed thoughts.

Here are some of the greatest “Monkey mind” hits:

  • Am I ever going to finish this project?
  • What should I have for dinner tonight?
  • What if I fail?
  • Did I remember to put the garbage out?
  • Am I a failure?
  • What should I do with my life?
  • Am I happy? What is happiness anyway?

By not just thinking about these but by also writing about them, you switch into a meditative-like state. And just like meditation, you acknowledge their existence at first and then let them slowly fade into ink on the page.

It’s a great feeling and I encourage you to try it out for yourself.

The catch, for me at least, is that after writing 1’110 words I am “satisfied” when it comes to writing. Most of the stuff I write down is very personal and you would have to be a borderline megalomaniac to publish that stuff word for word on your Blog.

But the reason I started this Blog is to put myself out there. And what good is it if I write a lot for myself but not something that I can actually publish?

And it’s not out of some sort of obligation to my “readers” that I do this. (Who reads this shit anyway?) I just believe that if I put my thoughts out here I’ll invite serendipity. Maybe someday, somewhere, someone will read this Blog and be inspired or learn something new that they didn’t know before.

Who knows.

What I know is that I have a drive to write and put it out there, no matter if it is good or not. I guess the whole thing is more about overcoming my personal fears of public humiliation. And what better way to humiliate yourself by posting shit on the Internet?

The famous author Steve Pressfield had this to say about Resistance:

Resistance will unfailingly point to true North – meaning that calling or action it most wants to stop us from doing. […] We can use this. We can use it as a compass. We can navigate by Resistance, letting it guide us to that calling or action that we must follow before all others. […] Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.

So by having published this Blog post it means that I have overcome Resistance for once and followed some call deep within myself and I am happy about that. Even if nobody will ever read this post.

And what are you waiting for?